the one waking me feels urgent / angry

it is all me / I am waking myself

resuming another day of others’ days

hoping to get machinery to work

not to get stuck in traffic

Here is the whole plot / said and done

I wondered / was denied / corrected-

set self-watch / my angel stood guard with flaming sword

angel — who hankers for thoughts that bloom like cream tipped in dark coffee

who after long obedience is dogged by despair —

I know when despair appears / something is destroyed already

I sift my ashes

I find teeth / fragments of bone / perhaps a remnant of warmth

the grit of what is left / not renewal

I place left-handed thumb on temple / put right fingers on forehead

stroke / feel / skull – a box containing unthinking chemistry / complicated to words / chased by tongue

the idea of meanings / sought / formed / lost again

but possible to remember first waking

hope / without thinking turning toward / expecting

what in me is left of grace manages to move

nudged my angel stumbles / trips a few steps / notices there is a way

forward / I tell myself / forward

Poem by Jo Mariner /Image: Puppet representing an angel. Made by John Thirtle for Richard Gill’s play The Prince and the Puppets in 1970. accession Number: S.1035:1-2011, Victoria and Albert Museum, London